NASALCATION: “It started out like a song….”

I married a patient and loving guy.  Everyone who knows him cannot say anything but lovely, kind things about him.  He married a crazy, over the top, singing loony tune and he adores me too.  Lucky be this lady. We both bring awesome to the table.

But then I watched him fall in love with Disney trip after trip I took him on.  My fate to love him was sealed when we took our first Disney trip, a whirlwind, jam-packed trip of amazing fun.  Our second time was a weeklong Disney cruise where he feared the hordes of children that would surely swarm him.  After he was settled into a comfy lounge chair near the Cove Cafe, the adults only section with a gorgeous pool, he looked happier than I’ve ever seen him.  When he hugged Goofy later he got happier.  When he lovingly pushed me in a wheelchair at Disneyland after I injured myself on our honeymoon and made it a priority for me to see every inch of two parks in one day, I swooned.  Every vacation and customer service experience is compared to Disney.  Having worked as a performer on their cruise line, I know the value of Disney service, the magic of every place Disney touches, and the joy it brings to people’s lives.  Mine included and now my husband’s. Every husband is now compared to mine.

Hubs and I needed a vacation and what better time of year to go to Florida than winter.  As a concierge, as a commuter, as a Jersey girl, as a human, I could not imagine how bad it would be to live a normal life during Superbowl week.  Blech NJ Superbowl. NEW JERSEY, not New York. Where else did we want to go but to the motherland? DISNEY bound. So whoop there it is we booked a clean and affordable hotel nearby Downtown Disney, got some awesome flights on JetBlue, and planned for a great week away from it all.  We built-in couple time; we felt very adult about it.  My goals were to meet Hubs’ grandma and spend some time with his amazing aunt and uncle, see my dear friends, and take in as much Disney time as I could.

But I’m a Lifetime TV series, not just a movie. So it started out like a song but….

The first night we arrived we were in heaven.  We checked in, took naps and relaxed, planning our shopping day and dinner with our friends the next day.  We had dinner out at an undisclosed Disney restaurant; I don’t bash anything Disney but let’s just say it was a very different cuisine than I’m accustomed to. We were late to it but nothing ould spoil our fun and afterwards I found myself skipping to our rental car.  I was within walking distance of the Mouse himself and nothing could get me down.


I woke up the next morning with a burning, wretched feeling in my throat.  Thinking I needed to eat, Hubs got us breakfast but it was too late.  I didn’t have acid reflux like I thought. This morning was made for exorcist vomiting and other unmentionables.  Hours of it.  My dear husband listened to me moan and groan and cry about not seeing my friend and her baby.  After I pushed away anything going into my body, he finally said let’s go to the doctor.  I agreed and we left but not after one more projectile vomiting. Man, am I sexy! He lovingly helped me in and out of the car although I’m sure by now he was sick of me. The doctor’s office was full of nice people who hated seeing us newlyweds miserable.  They gave me an injection to stop vomiting, instructed me to eat light and drink water, and take more of the same injected drug if I didn’t feel better soon.  We filled the prescription, got some necessities at Wal-Mart and headed back to our hotel. Thank God for HBO.

Hubs put me in bed, helped me into new PJs, straw-fed me applesauce and broth, gave me cool compresses, and when I still felt nauseous, we called the doctor to see when to take a pill.  I miraculously passed out and Hubs laid in the other bed, watching closely and starving until he finally fell asleep too.

I don’t know how long I was asleep.  I woke up, saw the sleeping angel and felt grateful for him.  I wobbled quietly to the bathroom.  The doctor had given me Phenergan.  Wowza was that strong.  I was swaying around while I used the facilities.  I remember thinking how weird and funny I felt, groggy. Almost trippy, though I’ve never tripped. Maybe this is what it feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…..

The next thing I knew I was lying on the floor and Hubs was hitting me with the door.

“Ow, you’re hitting me.”

“You’re in a pool of blood!”

“Oh wow…. (wipes face off) Can I have some water?”

“You’re bleeding everywhere!! We need to go to the hospital!”

I had face planted into the door or floor, the whole thing is a bit hazy. I scratched my face, bonked my head and gave my nose a job. I mean seriously?  Hubs ran around trying to feed me, give me things to drink, wipe blood off of… well, me, and oh the horror! I was like no way am I going to the hospital but Hubs insisted that I go to the doctor for X-rays.  I finally gave in but only after I got to see my friends and their baby.  We went and had a great visit with them; I could have held that baby all day and wish I had all day to spend with them.  But we were on to a different doctor (number two in Florida!), very nice place, and they were speedy with my X-rays.  They claimed I had a hairline fracture so small that they couldnt even reset my nose at that point.

Hubs escorted me out and was determined to get me to the motherland.  Off to Downtown Disney we went.  We had dinner at Wolfgang Puck’s where he watched me pick at the food I usually would have devoured.  He ran to get me Tylenol from the visitor’s center.  I mean, to say that Hubs was at my beck and call is an understatement.  We went to Mickey’s Pantry, my favorite store in Downton Disney, just to look around.  Then we tried browsing but wow, was I out of it.  But I was on a mission.  My mission, should I choose to walk it, was to get to the World of Disney store, the only place they sold the Vera Bradley Mickey purse I wanted.  I walked into the crazy masses of Mickey-seeking people and saw it on the wall, the Midnight by Mickey hipster. Hubs reached out to grab it for me and our vacation had been saved. 🙂 (Plus I got a discount.)

The rest of the trip went by in a lovely haze of happy.  Supportive husband who doted on me and poked fun at his gimpy wife. Boating adventure and laughs with Aunt and Uncle. Deemed lovely by Grandma, a spitfire of a little woman. Introduced Hubs to Animal Kingdom. Ate at Tony’s in MK. Saw the Electrical Light Parade. Laughed and spent quality time with our awesome couple friends.  Frolicked through the new Fantasyland at Magic Kingdom. ATE AT BE OUR GUEST. (Pork and a cupcake with the delicious grey stuff might have been the best thing EVER.) Ate Pineapple Dole Whip. Postponed flight due to weather at home. Spent a day by the pool lounging with Hubs. Saw the Electrical Water Pageant. Ate Pineapple Dole Whip again.  Got home.

A week went by and my nose wasn’t purple anymore. I told friends my story of woe.

But owwww. Like WTF and why is there a bump on the side of my nose.

I knew i had to follow-up with the ENT. I am a singer, not a dummy, so I knew something was up in there.  I called the doc and my doc couldn’t see me and then it snowed. And then it snowed. Yes again.

I finally went in on Friday and saw a new doctor but within my practice.  Nice guy, calm, cool and collected.  He tried to put my nose back into place, tugging, squishing, pulling ouch.  He informs me my nose had to be reset so I’m like just do it.  All by myself. Posting statuses on Facebook. Texting Hubs and anyone else I could think of.  I was panicking.  The doctor gave me six shots of Novocaine and shoved a metal prong to break my nose back into place. After eight tugs I was crying hysterically but the doctor’s office told me that normally people scream their heads off.  I found out later that they usually put people under for that. SERIOUSLY?  Life.

All of that for a Mickey fix. I refuse and deny any implications that I get too excitable and injure myself around Disney!

So what did i learn? Hubs proves to me TIME AND AGAIN his patience and love.  When I told my friends how fast he flew to my rescue, they asked if I was surprised.  No. But isn’t it nice to feel that way? Pain is pain. See a doctor.

The biggest lesson I learned is to just try to have fun when shit goes wrong. Because it’s gonna happen now and again.  Keep calm, keep smiling, and enjoy the faith, trust and pixie dust with the one you love.



2 responses

  1. Pingback: Faith, Trust and a Vacation of Clarity | Keep Calm and Cari ON

  2. Pingback: Faith, Trust and a Vacation of Clarity

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