I deal with guests that are super crazy, like every day. Yes I sometimes can get snippy but 95% of the time I am lovely, charming even. No one is ON 100% of the time and if you are, you are a robot. I like being human.
For example, when I had to tell a woman about the plot for every Broadway musical and then she left to get cheap tickets, I said okay BUH-BYE, BIATCH… in my head.
I reserved all of my charms for this ridiculous but sweet inquiry that I just had to share. Enjoy my imitation of poor English. This is not to poke fun, only to vent and provide you with a chuckle!
Guest: I want see fire.
Concierge: Excuse me sir?
Guest: Fire department. Pretty building. Fire.
Concierge: Alrighty then. You want to see a pretty fire department.
Guest: Yes. Architecture. Pretty.
Concierge: Ok sir, do you know which fire department building you want to see? We have many here in NYC. Do you want to go to the New York City Fire Museum?
Concierge: OK sir, let’s look at some pictures.
Guest: Red building.
Concierge: A red fire department building, of course, sir.
We started looking at pictures together of different fire department buildings. The gentleman said no to every picture I showed him. This went on for at least 2 or 3 minutes as I Googled everywhere I could think of in NYC.
Guest: It red and orange. Big. Pretty.
Concierge: Do any of these look familiar, sir?
Guest: Not yet.
Concierge (light bulb goes off): Sir, do you mean the Ghostbusters firehouse?
Guest: No, no, no? (The Guest looks perplexed and I can tell he just does not have a clue.)
I Googled the picture and showed him. I could see in his eyes that I had indeed succeeded in finding the red and orange firehouse which is no longer a firehouse.
Guest: Oh! YES yes yes! Perfecto and thank you!
Concierge: (just smiles) You are welcome.
No moral. Just smiles. Prayers for Egon.
Who you gonna call? CONCIERGE, the girl on fire.